Full Episode Transcript

Liz Roman (@thepoopqueen) and Becca Chilczenkowski (@thehormonequeen), functional health practitioners at FitMom, on why muscle takes years and what has to be true before your body will build any of it.

The Hard Truth About What “Toned” Actually Costs

[00:00] Liz Roman: Some hard truths that we don't wanna hear, but we gotta hear and it sucks sometimes. So we're gonna talk about changing your expectations and mostly talking about body composition and the ideal body composition that you might want to look toned. I hate that word. But you wanna look lean, you wanna look muscular, you wanna look like you lift, but you don't wanna look like a man. That's what I hear a lot of people, you know, say sometimes. And it's like, girlfriend, I've been lifting for almost two decades and I still struggle to put muscle on, so, uh

Why Body Type Changes Your Timeline (But Isn't An Excuse)

[00:37] Becca Chilczenkowski: I think this also comes back to, I actually have a reel coming out soon around body types. 'cause I do think that there is something to it. Like, do I think it- death is the destiny for everything if you're, like, this body type versus this body type? No. But I very much so see commonly, like for example, myself and Lindsay, our friend Lindsay, we're both very anabolic. What w- what are called mesomorph body types. Like, I'm very straight up and down, I don't have hips, I have broad shoulders. I develop muscle very easily, so does Lindsay, right? Whereas, like, endomorphs, which are more kind of like estrogen-dominant, they tend

[01:10] Becca Chilczenkowski: to be predisposed to estrogen dominance. They have a little bit more hips, but they also have the waist. I think of it as like the female body type, right? The curvaceous, like, you get- Mm you get bigger boobs, you get more hips and butt and thighs and a smaller waist when you're optimized, but can also gain weight very easily and can gain body fat very easily. Those people typically can gain muscle, but it's just harder, right? And then the ectomorph has the biggest struggle, and that's like the skinny kind of straight bean pole type body type that struggles to gain weight, struggles to gain muscle. but I think it's, that plays a role.

[01:43] Becca Chilczenkowski: I also think that a lot of people expect to be able to accomplish something in a shorter amount of time than it will actually take. I, and I think you can lose weight in a short amount of time. Like, I think dropping a number on the scale in three to six months is very realistic if you're doing a lot of things. But developing a true body composition change I think is years, and especially if you really have not strength trained with intention and purpose. I think it's, it's something that a lot of people need to reset their expectations on. Because a lot of people lift weights or they'll go to a class, right? Like, I go to a class at my gym, and I do the b- the, I do the weightlifting

[02:23] Becca Chilczenkowski: at the, during the class, and it's like it probably isn't what you think it is.

High Reps And Low Weight Will Not Get You There

[02:29] Liz Roman: Yeah. I would say that we both have had a lot of experience working in gyms with people, and you know, it's one side of the coin or the other, the person is super excited about lifting heavy or they're super scared because they don't wanna get hurt, or they might say, "I don't wanna get bulky." And the reality is if you want to have a muscular definition to your body, you need to be lifting. Like, I'm even canceling the membership that I got to Planet Fitness probably because the heaviest dumbbell that they have is 45 pounds. So I'm like, I'll just, you know… Like this morning I was in my garage doing deadlifts and squats.

[03:03] Liz Roman: I went as heavy as I could to get it up over my head onto my back, but it's not as heavy it will be when my rig gets here in a couple of weeks, you know? And then I can belt squat and I can do other things. You need to be under heavy load, and you need to be under progressive overload. It should feel very hard. Like, you really shouldn't need to be doing a lot of cardio because you're out of breath. When you're lifting heavy and you're going for multiple sets of, let's say, three to five reps- That's cardio on its own. So I think for the women out there who are doing high reps, low weight, you're not gonna get the results that you want, and when you're doing all

[03:39] Liz Roman: the cardio, all the running, all the Orange Theory Fitness, you're also probably not, unless you are genetically blessed, going to get that tone body with abs that you would like to see. And then I would just say, you know, social media has definitely given women a bit of a misconception, like you were saying, on how long it's gonna take. 12-week cycle, 16-week cycle. Yeah, marketing is really great, and you can see pictures, but unless you are truly optimized, like you said, thyroid, I would say testosterone, maybe you're utilizing some growth hormone or some peptides, creatine, L-arginine, like some of these other supports to help you with your performance and with

[04:23] Liz Roman: your recovery You're probably gonna do multiple cycles of those for years after years and still want to optimize a part of your body or not be where you wanna be in terms of, you know, certain, the way that your physique shows in terms of, like, your butt or your peach- Yeah for example.

Your Body Won't Build Muscle While It's Fighting Inflammation

[04:41] Becca Chilczenkowski: Absolutely. I mean, I think about back to when I first started weight training, and when I started CrossFit, I had already started weight training a little bit, but it was, like, HIIT style in college.

[04:53] Liz Roman: Mm-hmm.

[04:54] Becca Chilczenkowski: And I didn't really lift that much in college. It was more for sports. And when I started CrossFit, it took me about a year and a half to really… And that was me being obsessed. Like, I quit my job and trained all day, every day, basically, and I accomplished something pretty great in a year and a half. And then I was able to maintain that level of muscle, maybe not that level, but, like, clo- a good amount of that muscle that I developed during that time, and then I got super inflamed 'cause I was-- my body was super stressed out. But I still had a lot of muscle underlying what the, the inflammation was hiding. And so when I got rid of the inflammation, it showed a physique

[05:29] Becca Chilczenkowski: that was, I was much happier with. But, like, the muscle was already there, right? And I think a lot of people that come to us, the muscle isn't there yet, and it takes not only fixing the dysfunction in the body, which is a process, right? Like, your body is not going to prioritize anabolic things in terms of building and developing and recovering when you have a bunch of gut dysfunction or you're dealing with an autoimmune that's really active. Like, you need to address those things first too, which then takes the timeline even longer, right? Like, yeah, you can make some progress maybe in the gym while you're working on

[06:07] Becca Chilczenkowski: healing, but the focus mainly needs to be on pulling stress back when you're in, like, a more intensive healing process. So think for that, for a lot of people, that's like 6 to 12 months of really getting the body back to a homeostasis that it can handle stress, and now we need to go through the process of stressing it but keeping it from regressing too. And I think that-

[06:28] Liz Roman: That's gonna play a big role there in terms of- Yeah … how you recover.

Slowing Down When Everything In You Wants To Push Harder

[06:31] Liz Roman: We see this a lot on the genetic panel. Are you more prone to that inflammation? Are you more prone to having exercise intolerance? Of course, in certain seasons of life too where it's high stress or perimenopause, things are fluctuating, your body is different, things are changing. In our age group, at 37, 38 years old, compared to 18 years old, it's much different And I go back, I actually have a post that's coming out next week where I, I took a picture last week. I was just having a day, like I felt pretty good. I always feel pretty good going into my period. And so I was like, okay. I like to compare these different seasons to when I had a lot of the gut

[07:09] Liz Roman: dysfunction, and then also when I was doing 75 Hard and I was just really watery and puffy and inflamed, to now that I'm three to four days a week lifting. I walk a lot. I have started doing some like short little runs, two minutes here and or there in between my workouts. But I'm not doing anything crazy the way that I was when I was doing HIIT class boot camp five, six days a week, thinking that more was gonna be better results. And I know a lot of women out there will not like this, but it is just the hard truth and it's what we've seen in our practice time and time and time again with women who come in and they're really puffy and inflamed,

[07:47] Liz Roman: and we're asking them to slow down. You're like, "You want me to give up my running? You want me to give up my 5:00 AM CrossFit Orange Theory class?" Whatever that might be. I want you to give up the stress that is keeping your cortisol cranked, and bring your body back into a place that you can recover. It's like Mark Joe used to say when we worked with him f- First Form, I still remember that. Like, leave enough in the gas tank so that you can fully recover, or you don't fully benefit from your workout until you recover. And that requires fueling.

The Under-Eating Trap: You Have To Eat To Build

[08:17] Liz Roman: What do we see, and I've been guilty of this too, women constantly doing? Under-eating I forgot to eat. I wasn't hungry. I was distracted. I was too busy. Whatever the situation might be, if you want to put muscle on, you have to eat. And again, I'm gonna throw myself under the bus here. Our good friend Sonia, she was messaging about this the other day too. She's postpartum in the same way of like, "Oh, look, I'm getting my butt back because I actually started eating more." You have to eat to fuel that recovery, and you have to eat to fuel that growth, and it will be uncomfortable. Becca's been through this. We've talked about this several times on the podcast as well, where you're in

[08:52] Liz Roman: that season of trying to put on muscle that you feel a little bit more puffy. It's not always comfortable to eat the amount of carbohydrates or protein or just overall calories that you need to. And so then you might say, "Okay, it's not a huge priority for me right now. I'll do a lot in terms of, you know, optimizing my recovery, managing my stress, lifting heavy in the gym, but I don't wanna push calories right now 'cause it's bikini season." Okay, you might still make a little bit of progress, but you're not gonna make as much progress as you would if you were in a season where you're like, "Cool, I can throw on a sweatshirt and be a little bit bloated

[09:25] Liz Roman: today from all the carbohydrates." You know?

Why “Bulky” Isn't What You Think It Is

[09:27] Becca Chilczenkowski: Yeah, absolutely. And I think in the ability of gaining the level of muscle someone wants to look a certain way, I think, one, it's more muscle than they think it is. Mm-hmm. I think a lot of people underestimate how much muscle tissue they need to build. Like, this is why I got a DEXA scan recently, 'cause I wanted a new baseline for myself after the surgery, and I, I think a lot of people don't realize how much muscle tissue you need to have it show and have a physique of like, you know, your arms are somewhat defined. It's really hard to get b- You guys, let me tell you, it is very hard to get bulky. It is. Like, it takes effort for those people to develop massive amounts of muscle.

[10:07] Becca Chilczenkowski: What bulky is a lot of times is you're developing muscle and you're not shedding inflammation or fat, and then you do. You can look bulky. But the process of going through surpluses, being uncomfortable, eating more, holding a little bit more water for the recovery And then the peeling back. I have done that multiple times. Like, multiple phases of surpluses, gaining, really pushing in the gym. And during those timeframes, what I have to focus on is the gym. I have to focus on, like, how much stronger am I getting? Is my… Are my weights going up? And I'm proud of those things versus what is the scale saying, what is

[10:44] Becca Chilczenkowski: the scale saying, what is… Right? Like, I have to really put- change my perspective during those times. And then the worst part is when you go from eating a lot to being in a deficit, and you're like, "Oh, this sucks. I'm so hungry. I, I don't, I don't remember why I liked doing this so much all the time." Like, it's-

Expectations Have To Match The Goal — And The Deficit Steals Muscle

[11:00] Liz Roman: Bitch going out of it, and then you bitch coming into it again, too. It's like, "I don't wanna eat more," but now it's like, "Oh, I don't wanna eat less." And I think this is a great place to say, like, your expectation has to match the goal of the outcome. Because I think a lot of people will have the expectation of staying lean while they have the goal of gaining muscle, and you know, again, some people are genetically blessed, and they can do it a lot easier than others. We're not gonna say that you have to gain five, 10, 15 pounds to put on muscle, but we are saying that you're not gonna feel your leanness because you shouldn't be in a deficit.

[11:34] Liz Roman: If you're in a deficit, your body, again, gonna be stealing some of that muscle. So at best, you're trying to, in a deficit when you're losing weight and going for fat loss, trying to maintain as much muscle as possible because you will have, no matter way, what way you slice the pie, a bit of muscle loss in any type of deficit- Mm-hmm especially on a GLP-1. And this is where we go and we look at those people who have saggy skin, they have Ozempic face, right? They're losing weight much faster. They're catabolizing muscle, and then they're all mad because they don't, you know, look the way that they wanna look even though they lost the weight.

Losing The Weight Is The Easy Part. Building Is The Hard Part.

[12:09] Becca Chilczenkowski: Mm-hmm. The 50- Yeah, it's all good and fun- … pound weight loss … until you lose a lot of the weight, and then you're like, "Oh, wait, I don't look how I wanna look." Mm-hmm. And now I have to go back and do the hard part, which is building muscle-

[12:21] Liz Roman: Mm-hmm … Becca Chilczenkowski: when the easy part actually is the losing weight. It is. Mm. And I know that it doesn't feel easy for a lot of people, but, like, when you've done it right, that is the easy part. The hard part is spending time in the gym, pushing beyond your comfort zone, learning how to lift and lift heavy, 'cause I think that's another thing that a lot of people don't realize is they, they don't know how to lift. This is something I talk with my coach, Dane, a lot about is like- A lot of these women that are struggling to, to build a body that they want and say that they're lifting weights probably have no idea what they're doing, as bad as that sounds.

[12:52] Liz Roman: Like, I've spent years learning how to lift, and he still corrects my form all the time. Like, to be able to engage certain parts of the body and build a physique that you want, it's just, it's hard, and it's h- it's not something a lot of people have the patience to do.

Muscle Is The Organ Of Longevity

[13:07] Liz Roman: But I always think, like, the time's gonna pass anyways, and the more muscle I have, the more metabolically healthy I'm gonna be, the easier perimenopause will probably be when I get there. You know, all of these things that muscle is… It, it's an anti-inflammatory organ. It's the organ of longevity. Like, it is a parking lot for glucose. You have a lot more metabolic flexibility when you're more muscular and hold more muscle tissue. So I think of it as, like, an investment, right? Investments are hard. Y- you know, you give up a lot of time now for what you will gain in the future, and what it will provide for you then.

[13:40] Liz Roman: But just realize that your journey is gonna look different than everyone else's, you know? Liz and I have very different body types and very different things that we're, we're, we benefit with and that we struggle with, you know? Like, I do build muscle easier, and I can maintain it easier, but I also get super inflamed a lot easier than Liz does. And so, like, there are gives and takes that you will have that someone else won't, which is why you have to keep blinders on. And I think either hire someone or commit to some type of goal. But like Liz was saying, your expectations have to match your actions. And I think a lot of times people want these things, but they don't

[14:17] Liz Roman: have any intention or specificity around what they're actually doing to get there, and then they just remain unhappy and unpleased in terms of what they've accomplished because there was no intention. There was no actual plan, right?

Most Women Have Never Actually Been Taught To Lift

[14:33] Liz Roman: Yeah. And I mean, there's a lot of great online programs that you can do if you're an experienced person. But I think most women need to be with eyes on them at some point in time. Even as someone who has lifted for a long time, like you said, Dane will watch your videos, he'll correct you. Art will be in the gym, he'll correct me. Because we, we forget about this. My mind sometimes do, 90% of the time when I'm in the gym, is not on what I'm actually doing, 'cause I'm thinking about the bazillion things that I need to be doing and, getting out of here as fast as possible. And so therefore, I have an area of opportunity to focus on my

[15:11] Liz Roman: breathing, focus on my bracing. I've gotten a lot better since I hurt my back, 'cause I know that was just probably me going through my reps, right, and not really slowing it down, breathing with it, being intentional. And that's probably one of the core reasons why I messed my back up a few months back. And so really being intentional, every rep matters. That's something that I try to think about. I also try to think about training with warriors. One of the certifications we went through, he would talk about intentionality through every last rep. Make your last set your best set. And sometimes that's when you're already fatigued, because you've done

[15:49] Liz Roman: multiple warmup sets or you've done multiple heavy sets, and you're going for that fifth set of three or the third set of five that's heavy, heavy, and you don't really wanna do it. But I try to strap in and get mentally locked and loaded of like, last set, best set. I can do this. Just one more. You know, whatever those mantras are.

Stop Tracking The Scale During Recomposition

[16:07] Liz Roman: And I would say too, look at your photos. This is really important if you're not already doing that. Body recomposition, I just had this conversation with someone last week. She's lost about 60 pounds with me, and I said body recomposition is the time that we don't necessarily want to look at the scale because you're gonna be upset that it's not dropping. That's, again, the expectation has to align with the season that we're in. And so what I want you to focus on is tracking how, like you said, your strength is improving, but also how your clothes are fitting and what your photos are showing. Because the more that you can give me, and she's really good about this,

[16:43] Liz Roman: visually with your pictures, then we can layer in other things to support. And this is a case where it's more of a estrogen dominance, belly and high stress and postpartum and like kind of all the things. She's a business owner too. So that body type that she has, a lot of it comes to that midsection. So we know that we still have to do those big lifts, but we do wanna think about

The 12-Week Program Lie

[17:06] Liz Roman: that breathing and the bracing and maybe the vacuums and the core work or whatever. But at the end of the day, I would just say to you, if you think that you are gonna do a 12-week or 16-week program and look the way that the person that you've been following who's been lifting her whole life on Instagram looks That ain't gonna happen. I'm sorry to burst the bubble, but it's just not gonna happen. I would love to look like Becca. I've said this since I've known you, like Becca's arms. There was a few moments and times where I felt like, "Oh, I'm gonna get arms like Becca." And then I got pregnant, right? And then I went through that season.

[17:39] Liz Roman: And then now I'm just like in survival mode. And so, like I did reach out to a couple of coaches that I wanna talk to more so once our break comes because I wanna get back into like a very structured progressive overload. and I feel like I'm kind of mentally in that place of ready to buckle in and strap in for that.

Training For The Season Of Life You're Actually In

[17:57] Liz Roman: So just remember to, I think this is the last thing I'll say, and then you can add anything else on You also need to think about the season that you're in of life. So I just went through a massive move. It's been a lot of stress. It's been really good, but there are many days where I'm just showing up. I'm just there to put in the reps. I am not pushing myself as hard as I possibly can because I'm monitoring that energy, and right now it's had to be kind of a re-shift back into all the clinical calls. and that's been stressful, too. And so remembering that you can maintain your weight. Like, I actually lost a couple pounds during the move, probably 'cause I

[18:39] Liz Roman: was just eating a bit less and, you know, my movement wasn't as much as it was, so I, like, I didn't felt like I needed a lot of it. And that's okay, but that's not okay longer term because if I shift back into the goal of being progressive overload, the energy has to come in through food. And so just think about the season that you're in. I don't think there's ever truly a perfect time 'cause you might say, like, "Oh, yeah, it's swimsuit season." I'm in Texas now, and it's gonna always be swimsuit season, so I'm gonna have to figure that out in some aspects. But at the other aspect, you need to look at your calendar and kind of plan

[19:15] Liz Roman: when are those times that you can push. And it don't have to be three-month phases. You could do a six-week push, right, and a peeling back. Or it could be a two to three-week push. I don't know how Dane does it for you. We know people have done three-two where they're, you know… or four-one, three-one, whatever this looks like. But you have a progressive overload, and then you kinda have a deload, and you can align your diet and your rest days and some of those strategies to help mitigate some of the inflammatory response if you are someone more prone to inflammation.

Burning 2,700, Eating 1,400

[19:46] Liz Roman: But overall, your calories can't just be up on days that you're training and then you're expecting to build muscle because you're still at the end of the week on average maybe at best at maintenance, right, from what I think it truly takes. And so if you're confused, maybe go on that total daily expenditure energy calculator and plug that in. And then I would also say if you've got an Oura Ring, we have, on here your basal metabolic rate and your total daily output 'cause I was chatting with one of my clients who's a teacher and she's like, "2,700 calories I burned," or something even, like, higher than that. And I said, "Great. How do you think you're gonna build

[20:23] Liz Roman: muscle eating 1,400 calories?"

[20:25] Becca Chilczenkowski: No. Absolutely not. I mean, I'm right now at 1,900 to 2,000, and that's even hard to get in because of how busy I am and, like, the types of foods that I'm trying to get that in with, and it's a lot of protein that I'm not used to. And so I had been in a large period of fasting leading into my p- leading into my surgery and then post-surgery, so, like, it's a big adjustment. But guess what? My weight stayed the same I'm feeling better in the gym, my recovery's going well, I'm sleeping well. Like, the body when it is healthy will be able to handle those extra calories that you're giving it.

Two To Three Reps From Failure Or You're Not Growing

[20:59] Becca Chilczenkowski: And right now, the funny thing is, I'm, I… Dane doesn't even train my arms. Like, because my arms are already so easily… I literally don't lift arms. All I do is my butt and my hamstrings, because I have such large quads, and my arms are, stay toned very easily. So, like, I get a half a day a week of arms and back, and the rest of it is glutes and hamstrings, because I have zero butt. And so that is what we are trying to build. And that, again, like, is it fun training glutes and hamstrings every day that I'm at the gym? No. But to shape the physique that I want, that's what it takes. And so that's what we do. And he always reminds me, "If you're not within two to three

[21:34] Becca Chilczenkowski: reps of failure on your sets, like, you're not growing muscle." And so most people don't truly know what failure feels like either, which is again, why I think a lot of times having someone watch your videos and watch your fo- form can be really helpful. But just your reminder, don't compare to anyone else on social media. Don't compare to Liz and I. We have been in, at this for a very long time, and even then, both of us have things that we're working on and that I know will take time, but, like, the time's gonna pass anyways. And so why not continue to work on something that I know I will be happy once I'm there?

[22:10] Becca Chilczenkowski: And I'm doing it with intention. I'm doing it with a plan. I'm doing it with accountability. And I think all of those things are pieces that, we don't do great on our own. And so, you know, we know what to do. I can probably program for myself, but I just don't have the mental capacity to do that. So I choose to outsource, and I pick someone that I trust, and you know, I know will give me the tough love that I need.

Boring Is Effective

[22:34] Becca Chilczenkowski: so just be- It'll be boring

[22:36] Liz Roman: sometimes too, right? Like, you brought up a great point with- Super boring … I train my arms, like, half a day and that all… 'Cause that's the portion of your body that you're wanting to really build. So expect it to be boring. Mm. Boring is effective. All these fun little workouts that people do with their I don't even know. Just go on TikTok and entertain yourself because you could go down a rabbit hole of the things that people choose to do, right? Standing on top of a BOSU ball doing who knows what or-

[23:10] Becca Chilczenkowski: Well, if you are doing multiple movements in one exercise, it's wrong. I saw someone the other day that was with a trainer that was doing both legs step back lunges into bicep curls into presses, and I was like, "What is happening?" It's like separate these movements, do them heavier, and with one thing at a time they will be more

[23:30] Liz Roman: effective. I believe that we had also programmed that at one point in time in our strong- Oh, yeah strong university probably, right? some of those death makers or whatever they might be called. And listen, if you wanna do it for fun, I think you can absolutely keep some of those things in that you just enjoy, like it's fun for you. There's a lot of you out there listening who love running. You think that that is, you know, or you find that fun. I think it's torture. Like, I don't know what I would rather do, but I would rather do a lot of other things besides, running personally. Who knows? You know, one day I'll love it.

[24:02] Liz Roman: I, I don't think that the day is anywhere in the near future, but I say that to say this. If you're like, "Oh, okay, well, that is really demotivating because it's gonna be boring," that's like a lot of things in life that, you know, it takes to be successful at anything. A lot of it is gonna be the work that you don't really wanna do, and it's not gonna be super fun, so sprinkle in some of those things that make you excited, right? Whether that is a short EMOM, it's a once-a-week class with your best friend. You know what I mean? Or whatever that looks like. I don't think that we have to take away all of the fun, but what we're basically

[24:37] Liz Roman: saying here is that for truly building muscle it's gonna feel really hard and it's gonna feel really repetitive. Mm-hmm. And then you know that you're doing it right.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why can't I build muscle even though I lift weights?

Three things usually stack. Your body will not prioritize building tissue while it is managing gut dysfunction, active autoimmunity, or high cortisol. You are almost certainly under-eating for the output you are producing. And the load is too light — FitMom's practitioners find most women who say they lift are working nowhere near the two-to-three-reps-from-failure range where muscle actually grows.

How long does it really take to change your body composition?

Years, not weeks. FitMom's practitioners put a scale weight drop at three to six months and a genuine body composition change at multiple years — longer if you have never strength trained with intention. Becca Chilczenkowski trained full time for eighteen months to reach the physique she wanted. A 12-week or 16-week program is a phase inside that timeline, not the timeline.

Can you build muscle while you still have gut issues or an autoimmune condition?

Barely. The body deprioritizes anabolic processes — building, developing, recovering — while it is managing gut dysfunction or an active autoimmune flare. FitMom's practitioners typically spend six to twelve months restoring homeostasis before pushing hard in the gym. You can make some gym progress while healing, but the primary job in that window is pulling stress back, not adding it.

Why am I not building muscle in a calorie deficit?

Because a deficit is a catabolic signal. When you are eating below your output, your body pulls from muscle tissue to cover the gap — so the best case in any fat-loss phase is preserving muscle, not adding it. FitMom's practitioners note this loss happens on every deficit and is sharper on a GLP-1, where weight comes off fast and muscle goes with it.

Do you lose muscle on a GLP-1?

Yes, and faster than on a conventional deficit. Weight comes off quickly, and a meaningful share of it is muscle tissue rather than fat. FitMom's practitioners see the result in clients who hit their goal number and are unhappy with the physique underneath — the scale moved, but the composition got worse. Resistance training and adequate protein through the deficit are what protect that tissue.

Will lifting heavy make a woman look bulky?

No. Becca Chilczenkowski, who builds muscle unusually easily, is direct about it: getting genuinely bulky takes deliberate, sustained effort most people never approach. What women call bulky is usually muscle developing underneath inflammation and body fat that has not been shed yet. Resolve the inflammation and the same muscle reads as definition.

How heavy should a woman lift to actually build muscle?

Heavy enough that multiple sets of three to five reps leave you breathing hard — progressive overload, under real load, week after week. Liz Roman's rule of thumb: if you are doing high reps with light weight, you will not get the physique you are chasing. Becca Chilczenkowski's coach frames it as reps from failure — within two to three, or you are not growing.

Why do I feel puffier when I am trying to build muscle?

Because building requires a surplus, and a surplus holds water. FitMom's practitioners describe the muscle-building season as genuinely uncomfortable — more carbohydrate, more protein, more overall calories, and a body that feels softer than it looks in a deficit. That water is recovery fuel. The definition shows up in the peeling-back phase that follows, not during the push.

Should I track the scale during body recomposition?

No — it will lie to you about progress. During recomposition, Liz Roman has clients track strength numbers, how clothes fit, and progress photos instead, because the scale will stay flat or rise while composition improves. One FitMom client down about sixty pounds uses photos as the primary marker. Match the metric to the season you are in, not the one you just left.

Key Terms

Anabolic

The building state. Your body is adding tissue — muscle, bone, repair. It only happens when there is enough energy and low enough stress for the body to spare the resources.

Catabolic

The breaking-down state. Your body pulls from its own tissue, including muscle, to cover an energy gap. Every calorie deficit is catabolic to some degree.

Progressive overload

Systematically increasing the load, reps, or difficulty over time. Without it, the stimulus stops and so does the growth — which is why the same class at the same weight for a year changes nothing.

Body recomposition

Losing fat and building muscle at the same time. The scale barely moves, which is exactly why the scale is the wrong tool during this phase.

Reps from failure (RIR)

How many more reps you could have done before form broke. Within two to three of failure is the working range for hypertrophy; most people stop far short of it.

Deload

A planned lighter week after a hard training block. It lets the nervous system and connective tissue recover so the next push actually produces adaptation.

TDEE

Total Daily Energy Expenditure — everything you burn in a day, not just your workout. Eating far below it while training hard is the most common reason muscle never arrives.

BMR

Basal Metabolic Rate — what you burn at rest keeping the lights on. The floor beneath your TDEE.

DEXA scan

A body composition scan that separates fat mass, lean mass, and bone density. Useful as a real baseline when the scale is uninformative.

GLP-1

A class of medication that suppresses appetite and drives rapid weight loss. Effective on the scale; costly to lean mass without resistance training and adequate protein.

Mesomorph / endomorph / ectomorph

Rough body-type shorthand. Mesomorphs add muscle readily; endomorphs carry more curve and gain both muscle and fat easily; ectomorphs struggle to gain either. A description of your starting point, not a ceiling.

Estrogen dominance

A pattern where estrogen is high relative to progesterone. Often shows up as midsection weight, water retention, and difficulty leaning out despite consistent effort.

Sources & Tools Referenced

• Oura Ring — daily basal metabolic rate and total energy output
• TDEE Calculator — estimate your total daily energy expenditure
• DEXA Scan — body composition scanning (fat mass, lean mass, bone density)